It’s not that some people have willpower and others do not. It’s that some are ready to change and others are not.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why some people that come to Lifexcel are successful in reaching their goals while others struggle. Some people show great commitment. They keep their appointments. They take our recommendations to heart. They make their health a priority. If they hit a bump in the road they get back up and try again. They aren’t looking for a quick fix. They are willing to be uncomfortable – to look deep into why they have an unhealthy relationship with food. This is a formula for success.
Then we have other clients. These people come in motivated. They say they are sick and tired of being sick and tired of being overweight. They say they are ready. They say they are willing to make the necessary changes to achieve their goals. These people look just like the aforementioned group early on. Then they start cancelling appointments. They make excuses for missing appointments. They come to an appointment and they have gained weight. They tell you they commit to exercising three times this week but when you see them they have excuses why they could only manage one 40 minute walk.
What is the difference in the two groups? I think it has very little to do with willpower. It’s much deeper than that. If you are struggling to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle to achieve your goals, take a moment to reflect. What are you getting out of being overweight? Most people will immediately say they are not getting anything out of being overweight but I beg to differ. You are getting something positive out of it or they would not continue to be overweight. Think about it. Is food your comfort? Does being overweight make you the victim? Does your weight help you to build walls that keep people out? Does it give you something to complain about? Are you rebelling against someone who scrutinizes what you eat? Is food a control issue? There are limitless reasons why someone would not want to lose weight. When your actions and your words do not match up, look deeper than laziness and willpower. Some clients start with behavior coaching sessions just to explore that question. “I want to lose weight more than anything in the world, but last night I ate a steak, french fries, a salad with ranch, 3 dinner rolls with honey butter and I drank 2 beers – hating myself every bite. I couldn’t stop.” said one client. Some people already know why they overeat and/or underexercise but are powerless to make changes. Whatever the case, there is always hope. It starts with behavior coaching and getting to the root of why you cannot make yourself do what you say you want to do. You are never too old or too out of shape to change. A life of hating yourself every time you look in the mirror is no life at all. It’s hard work and it doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen. A new life awaits for those willing to do the work.